How Can You Tell If A Child Has Experienced Abuse?

Some more common signs ; layering clothing, not bathing, abnormal fear levels, sexual play with toys(that seems more’informed’ than age appropriate.) being singled out by the perpetrator, special gifts at uncalled for times, etc. Most counties have a child abuse counsel or MDIC that will give you more info. Remember you can ask to remain anonymous if you wish to report something, but there are severe penalties, I believe, for false reporting. Such as in a custody case.

But no matter whta happens if u show signs some people will often think it is their fault due to their past from their parents. My parents are divorced and my dad didnt believe me because my mom said the same lie to the court just so she can divorce him she said he raped her so she can leave with no trouble now my dad thinks i am being just like her. Now my life is better but excpet for some other children who their parents dont believe them i feel sorry for them. They could not speak out and aske for help just like i wanst able to until i was able to find someone who really cared for me and i trusted them to help em but whats going to happen for a little child(baby) that is to scared to speak out…………………………….how long is it going to continue for them

i want to be able to help kids out there that are to scared to speak up and reach out for help

I am a mother of three children and a single parent. When my oldest daughter was sexually abused from her step-father I felt hurt and upset. I know how my daughter was feeling cause I was raped in my sleep. We went to the State Atty”s office and they said there was not enough proof. We talk to each and try to comfront each other. But the people that do this need life in prision.

My youngest daughter was way past bedwetting by age two. It started again when she was four. Her daddy, who she adored, was in the co jail for unrelated charges. We stayed with a friend and his family. They had a 21 year old son who was being released from prison come to stay. Within a month, he had built them a clubhouse in the backyard for the 3 children, my 4 year old being one of them. He spent alot of time with the children. They had fun with him. My baby started wetting the bed again. I noticed a dry spot of something on her inner thigh and asked her if anyone had been messing with her “down there”. She told me the 21 year old did and made her preform oral sex on him. I told his mother and sent my daughter to her grandmas….immediatlely!!! It took about a month before I got him to admit what he had done. He hung himself and died. I wanted to hand him myself, especially when he mother said my baby was a liar. Needless to say,I hate her to this day. Dont trust anyone 100% with your children. The anger stays in your heart long after you wish you could get rid of it…I am hoping this may reach someone else and prevent trhis kind of tradgedy for several someone else’.

I am one of those kids who did not say anything when a “relative of a relative” attempted to molest me at the age of 5. Fortunately for my sister (who was 3 at the time) and me, I got us both out of the house and stayed in a nearby park all day until our Mom came home from work.

As a result of this frightening incident, I became leary of male relatives…I will be 54 this year and it was only a couple of years ago that I spoke of this incident with my mother. I thank God my sister (now deceased) had no memory of this ugly incident.

I heard sometime ago that the creep who did this died of cancer and I say “good riddance”. I don’t want to be mean or vindictive but I hope he suffered to the bitter end…

My nightmare happened when I was 5yrs old and lived in Mexico. I believe he was a long term neighbor and my parents loved him so much cuz he was a very old man but with a sick mind. Thank god my experience was not of any sexual penetration only contact but still the hurt was done. I also had this bad experience with my god-mother son and grand son. They both seemed to pretend they liked playing hide & seek all the time we went to visit but what they were really doing was touching me in my private parts and showing me theirs. I tried telling my mom once from my cousins but she got upset with me and accused me of making up things and made me feel as if I was the one with the fault. Now Im 27 yrs old, I have a 8yr girl and a 1yr old boy and I really pay attention to what my girl has to say. I am not with my girl’s dad so Im always paying attention to everyone who is around my kids, even my little boy’s dad. An advice I would like to give to all those parents out there is to always listen to your kids and never under estimate anything that comes from your children.

Dear Livette,

I am very sorry for what you went through . There is no way you can correct wrongs but you definitely can make things right by taking legal action against your mother.

Why can’t a woman , if she is a child beater , beat her children herself or even another man as your stepfather?

Your mother witnessed this and yet did nothing now she put the phone on you because she is scared. You and your brother only have the same blood as her , that doesn’t mean she is holy or something.

Maybe she used him to revenge on your biological father. And now she wants to use you and your brother to secure her wellbeing during her old age.

Well now you know why so many old people stay in nursing homes until they die without any visit.

She did not put you first by then , so now do yourself a favor and put you first. Write everything in detail and claim compensation from her or simply go ahead with criminal charges.

Take care

Ariene

I need some help on a situation with my step daughter and her brother.. my fiance he has 3 kids but the oldest his ex wife did have till she walked away from her son and daughter and gave my fiance his mom full custody and gardianship of both kids.. we have noticed alot with the kids and isnt normal for thier age what they have been doing and need some advice on how to find out or the signs and symtoms with sexual and phys abuse.. please can u get back to me

Thanks Ariene, since my post I have started going to counsling. I am getting were I need to be with a little bit of peace at least. Be Blessed
Livette

vivianne,
Do not wait for your baby to end up like me, PLEASE, get help.
Good Luck,
Livette

Dear Vivianne,

Please for your childs sake don’t let her continue to be around him. If you think something is wrong going on with him and her then don’t wait for it to get worst get away from him now. There is nothing wrong with loving and caring and showing a child that you love them, but please wake up if he has woke you up fondling you then you know he has been doing sexual things with your child. For GOD sakes get your child away from that monster. NOW!!!!! She is already scarred from the things he has been doing don’t make it to the point that she thinks what he is doing is ok with you. Have you checked to see if he perhaps is listed on a sex offenders list?????????????? Wake up please no matter how much you think you love him LOVE YOUR CHILD EVEN MORE AND GET HER AWAY FROM HIM ASAP!!!!!!! SAVE YOUR CHILD FROM ANYMORE DAMAGE. I will be praying for your child and you to find find a safe place away from him.

I hate to say it Vivianne, but he’s quite clearly a damaging element to not only your child, but he could become dangerous to you. He’s a perv, and touches you in your sleep. That’s not okay, and he’s not even secretive about it. For Pete’s sake, he fondled your child not six inches from your, get him out of your home! Men like that will do one thing, and if you let them get away with it, or even think you aren’t upset, they’ll find a more perverse thing to do. You child cannot protect herself, please do it for her. This man is depraved.

I have always felt weird around older men for some reason while I was growing up. Within the past year I had been having some pretty bizarre dreams about when I stayed in California with my father. After having the same dream about 12 times I decided to share it with my mother. Come to find out, everything that I told her about the dream seems to be true. She said that when I came back from California I told her that my father would make me stand up against the wall naked and touch me. I shared this with her at the age of about 5 and I was never able to visit him again. The weird thing about it is that I had disguised this memory in my mind for so many years, and its funny how things come out. This abuse explains alot to me about my feelings towards men.
Now I have two daughters of my own and my ex-boyfriend was always their father figure because their real father is in prison. I feel uncomfortable with him around my children just because of what I went through. He acts weird though, he runs into the bathroom whenever my two year old has to use it and he always offered to change her diaper. I don’t know if I’m over reacting but it makes me uncomfortable to have any man around my child’s vagina. I hate being like this but I figured if my father did it to me, then no man is to be trusted around my children.

All guys that mess with kids should be killed 1 yr from the date that they were charged with the crime and no questions should even be ask….I am so sorry for all of you that have been put through this. I really am..I hope you the best in life.May God be with you…

Dear Vivianne,
Please get out while you can because it will get worse. Good luck in yours and your childs life…

Vivianne,
Take your child to a doctor and have her checked out there are ways they can find out what you really are afraid to face and truly I understand because personally he would be long gone in “many”ways if you know what I mean.Please take care of yourself and your precious baby girl..It will mess her up for life……If he will do it to you, then more than likely it happening to her…God Bless ya’ll

i tried to d/l load info from this story and got an error each time for each story and error said the story was no longer available. what now?????/

My real parents separated when I was three years old. My dad remarried and I ended up living with my sister and two stepsisters. As long as I can remember my stepmom used to physically abuse me and my real sister. My oldest stepsister who was 12 at the time made me have sexual intercourse with her. I was only six years old. The abuse continued by both my stepsister and my stepmom for more than 10 years. I wet the bed and sucked my thumb until I was 12 years old. I was never made to take a bath or shower so I would go to school smelling horrible. I had the nickname “peebaby”. I had been reading all the other comments and saw that they were posted mostly women and there children. Thought I would share a small part of my childhood story.

i have read all the comments above. and i have always believed in not second guessing. if your feeling emontions about your boyfriend and your daughter, or partner.. then yes chances are he has already started the abuse., a mothers intution can never be second guessed. i was abused starting at age 3. and contunined until i was 14, it stoped when i cut my wrist and took a bunch of asprins.i am 50 now, and there are many scars that i carry. one being i can trust no man.. and it is so hard, for there are good men out there, but you can never have a truly trusting relaionship with any one. save your little girl now, and yourself, for your guilt will be your abuse .

Hi,

I am seeing a man who is divorced with 3 kids age 13 (girl), age 11(girl) and age 6 (boy).
His wife divorced him 4 yrs ago over an accusation made by the girl (then 7, now 11) that he ‘touched’ her, made her sit with him naked, etc. He admitted all of this to me, with great remorse. (so what, I know)

The oldest sucks her thumb at 13 yrs, and was a bed wetter. GOD could anyone tell me if the statistics or anything shows whether these people can even STOP if they want or if they are able to stop? I am beginning to think NO, unless there is some serious rehab therapy, who knows.
PLEASE HELP YOU GUYS!

My great-grandson lives next door to a family that is composed of a 17-year-old girl and her small son (about 4 or 5, a grandfather, two uncles and I do not know who else. I just recently learned that the 17-year-old was raped at 12 (have not been able to find out who rapist was) and that would explain her young son.

My great-grandson (4) climbs the fence to play with this young boy and his mother told me that she has seen the neighbor boy pull his pants down and ask my great-grandson to play with his genitals. I was horrified because I seem to recall reading somewhere that is one sign that a young child has been abused. For all I know the girl’s rapist is living in the house!

My granddaughter is not concerned about it and says that she keeps an eye on my great-grandson when he is playing with the neighbor boy, but she does it from in the house while she is watching TV! There is no way she can watch them all the time. I spoke to my son, my great-grandson’s grandfather, and he is not concerned either. They all think I’m crazy.

Where can I go to get valid information about this problem? I am living on Social Security and can’t afford to hire a psychiatrist and would like to know if anyone knows of a less expensive way to talk to an expert on child abuse. If not, I will have to figure out a way to get the money to hire someone. My family tells me that there is no one who will talk to me about it since I am “only the child’s great-grandmother” and that may be true.

Our liberal court system is too lenient on the evil child-molesters and wife-beaters and give no protection to the abused mothers and children. It is a sin.

PARENTS/CHILDREN - I have heard so many stories from people who have admitted that they had been molested at a young age by an older “trusted male friend/relative or neighbor of the family.” The nonsuspecting parents agree to this. The children are threatened harm by the male acquaintance if they tell - so many molestation victims grow up hiding these horrible secrets from their parents. Parents, supervise your children at all times! Leave your children only with people whom you KNOW you can trust. Allow and teach your children that they can openly and honestly tell you anything at anytime. Never punish your child for telling you anything. Children need to grow up KNOWING that they can talk to parents about ANYTHING and at ANYTIME. Be proactive (before bad things happen) and ENCOURAGE talk with your children about ALL things. Teach them which parts of the body are “private” and what to do if certain people try to see or touch those “private parts.” (God, please help the children and protect them, and help the parents to raise them proactively with supervision and open communication. Amen.)

Rob (July 10th entry) - Thanks for sharing your sad story. I am very sorry that that happened to you as a child. You are worthy of being valued and deserved to have been treated better than you were - by the stepfamily - and by your peers at school. I hope that you can come to terms with this so that it does not harm your psyche anymore. Focus on rebuilding your self-esteem. Every person deserves to be valued and to have been treated properly. Love to you.

hi, i am so sorry for the way you or close relatives have been treated . i watch americas most wanted pretty often and each time i find myself wondering how on earth someone could do something like that to someone else. it scares me to know there are people out there every day who are truley MESSED UP IN THE HEAD !! I just want to say if you ever need someone to talk to God will always be there for you . you just have to have faith . and you should never blame yourself for someone elses bad ways .

SUSAN THANKS! I am married with two children. I’ve read alot about coping with childhood abuse and I think everyone will carry the emotional baggage in varioud ways. I had no self esteem until I graduated High School and went into the Navy. The Navy was the best thing that ever happened to me. After boot camp and school I felt like a million bucks. Although I still carry the pain of childhood abuse, I am a pretty happy and successful person. Anyway, I want anyone and everyone that has ever been abused to know that you can become a great person in society and have a wonderful family. Don’t let the abusers control you for the rest of your life. Exercise, eat healthy, and have faith. Surround yourself with positive people. They make all the difference. I wish everyone nothing but happiness. Again, thanks for responding to my comment Susan.

My son @ the time he was 3 was molested by his cuosin who was 11 who also is male whom also was molested by his baseball coach. My son is now 7 years old I took him to a therapist when he was 3 .she told me he will forget all this and well to be honest he has. But in the back of my mind i feel as though one day he will remember. To all parents please dont ever leave your children out of your sight, even if you think well they are all kids. We did not know @ the time the cousin had being molested until we pressed charges and he himself got help. the coach has being charged as well. But trust no one with your children.

we recently got temporary custody of my step daughter after i went upstairs and saw her ontop of her 2 yr old sister. when i asked her where she learned the behavior she told me her mommy touched her and stuck fingers in her we reported it but the authorities dont seem to care that much. is it possible that a mom could do that to her own child and the other 2 or is it that my 6 yr old step daughter who knows good and bad touching is a liar i need help she is acting out and touching herself at daycare how did we not see this in weekend visits but only when we get our long term visit which hopefully this is not a lie about her mom and she is really being honest about who is touching her and we get her counsling but no one will take our calls hardly how do i know if she is telling the truth?

Hi Charleen well if it happens to father and daugter it could possibly happen to mother and daughter , i don’t think your step daughter is lying why would she be destroying her own mother by telling lies , you could bring your step daughter to a psychiatrist for counseling so she would know that what she is doing is not right. A heart to heart talk would be alright. God bless !

I would luv to reach out and hug all of you. Who have shared ur stories all I can say is sorry that u had to go through all of the abuse Well my situation is that I am super super super cautious and protective over my 3 year old daughter just because I do know that not everyone in this world is a saint and there are bad people out there that prey on poor defenseless kids. My fiance gets a bit upset when I’m always texting or calling him to be careful with the baby keep your eye on her he says I’m peranoid. But I’m just afraid for my daughter out in the world she’s a very active lil girl and I can’t even imagine for her or any kid to go through that so its affecting our relationship how can I talk or explain this to him. That all I want is for our daughter to be safe. For me he can just keep calling me ms paranoid or crazy all he wants but I’m never gonna stop protecting shielding Loving my child.

My heart goes out to all of you. My own dd was abused when she was 4 or 5 yrs.
She held it in until she was around 28 yrs… I was shocked, I felt my blood drain when she told me. I wish I knew before so I could have done something about it.
It was a neighbor’s kid only 13 yrs. I knew the family and him, when he grew up, not knowing, I was very nice to him. We had moved from the area but I use to see him when he came into the bank where I worked. When she told me it was too late to do anything about it. I was so mad and still am. Take care of your kids, don’t take your eyes off of them. Keep them close, trust no one. Single moms stay single until your kids grow up and are out of the house. Predators know to befriend single moms with kids. It’s so terrible that we have to be so paranoid but it’s the only way to stay safe.

I personally feel that people that sexually abuse children should get their genitals chopped off.

Hi,

I don’t know why i do this to myself but i have been reading your messages and they hvae sent me back to the place where i normally sit when i am alone. I know this is probably sounding a little strange but i was sexually abused when i was 13 and am now due to turn 21 in a week and a half.

I ran away from home when i was 17 as i could not take the abuse i rec’d from my mums boyfriend anymore and i realise more and more when i am alone i always end up reading one of my old diarys or looking for help to try and lighten the pain i feel on the internet.
strange i know but i don’t know how else to cope. i think i want to ensure that the evil gimp gets put away but i don’t know how to go about it or how to justify not doing anything until now. it is only as i get older (and with the imminent fact my brother is due to have a little girl in a few weeks) that i realise this man should not be walking around. Somehow i have been consoled in the fact that it was only me he abused and not my sister. i suppose i have felt safe that he had only ever aimed his punishments at me but i am increasingly worrying that this may not always be the case, People never do really change. Someone help me!

My 17 year old daughter told me last night that when she was 12 years old, her 14 year old brother went into her room in the night and raped her. Two days leter he attempted to do this again as she was getting into the bath tub, fortunately I’d come up the stairs at the time and he’d ran out claiming he was “Getting a spider”.
My daughter over the last onth has been having re-acuring dreams about her brother - who we recently threw out of the house due to theft and other activities we weren’t happy about - she’d wake up, and her brother would be standing over her while she was in bed, she said she got a pain in her stomach and screamed. These dreams have been going on now for four weeks. I guess the dreams brought to light the abuse, as I feel she must have blocked it out.
There were so many signs thinking back, her blocking up her bedroom door at night, her attitude towards other people, her behaviour in school, so many things. And at the time, it was put down to her “Being a teen”.
As soon as she told me last night, all these things came to mind straight away, but at the time, I didnt see. I called the police straight away, and she has to give a statement to a woman police officer on Monday.
My dighter has a learning dissability and has gone to a “Special needs school” since she turned 13. Her behavior was so bad. Now I understand why. Sometimes there’s more to a situation than meets the eye. I had asked her at the time if anyone had hurt her, and she’d said no. Last night she told me how her brother had repeatedly threatened her, always hit her, and deliberately lied to get her into trouble constantly, thus averting the attention away from the incident.
I feel sick, I havent slept since my daughter told me last night, and Im finding it difficult to understand and to cope. My daughter has become withdrawn and quite since telling me, and is now afraid to leave the house since her brother told her yesterday while she was in the street that he sits right across from her bedroom window at night in a tree and gets drunk. All her friends are also friends with him, and now I feel she is becoming overly isolated, and all I want to do is move house and give her a fresh start in life. I dont know what else to do.
All I can say is, watch closely, kids act out for a reason, and as difficult as some things are to believe, dont ever doubt them when it comes from a child.

i was abused sexually abused by my uncle for many years right up until i was almost 12 years old. My parents were only told by me about this last year and now feel very guilty. I couldnt tell them untill i was 33 and really i still feel no difference for sharing it with them. As a young child i rocked myself to sleep every night whilst sucking my finger, and i was frequently told off for this. I think parents should see things like this as some kind of signal ythat there is something wrong. It is never easy as a child to talk about sex together let alone talk about sexual abuse. Just be aware of change in usual pattern of behaviour……hope this helps

Dear hurt
My bother started raping me when i was 12 and he raped me till i moved out at 18 i never told my mom until 6 months before she died a year ago and i am 44 years old i have never forgotten the abuse ut will stay with me forever and the sad thing is i thought my mom knew about it but ignored it but i found out she didn’t know i am glad i finally talked to her before she died so i didn’t have to think she knew
your daughter need to see someone to deal with this but she probally won’t forget you and your daughter are in my prayers

i have a 15 year daughter that just revealed to me and her father that at age 9 she was touched by a family friend who at the time he was 16. How can we help her to get through this.
Is it to late to report? Where can I get her the helpshe needs,

I wish you all the best of luck in your life long “recovery” process. I hope that the laws get tougher and these MONSTERS recieve long, painful prison sentences. Child molesters get off easier that drug dealers thats crazy. And to the mother that you think your fiance is molesting your child get her out out the house or you are just as guilty as the molester!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am 15 now. i was sitting outside with my sister when suddenly i mind when completely blank and i went back to the past i remembered my dad molesting me when i was two. i told my sister and she was like omg i remember we were in a room together while ur dad was messing with the both of us. i kept having flashbacks of plenty of times when my dad fooled with my private and i came to my last one. i remember him raping me and i was crying. he hit me in the nose and we mysteriously have a video tape the weekend of the rape. my dad must have been so sick and wanted to video tape how i processed after the rape, thinking i wouldnt remeber. i was soo suprised that these flashbacks just suddenly came to me one day wen i never even thought of them my whole life.my mom said she took me to the doctors caz she thought he mite of done something to me. the docters found nothing caz it was 5 years later? how stupid of my mom to wait 5 years. i always peed the bed. i would be on my floors always has intense nightmares waking up sweating. i was very mean to my sibbling and would hit them and scream. i started cutting myself at the age of at and atemped drug overdose twice. i had an eating disorder for two years. and now it is alll explainable why all that happened. PLEASEEE get help if you have been rapped. it is the worst thing to live with especially if your young. i suffer everyday. i have very bad anxiety i am always depressed and i was always concerned with the way i look. it feels like all my men teacher are always staring at my breats and other things….my dad doesnt know that i no that he did this to me. im not thinking about confronting him because he is a very dangerous man and hes done this to his younger sister and my two other sister. i wouldnt be supprise if he did it to anyone else. i am in counselling now and hopefully things get bettter. please trust your kids if they tell you they have been molested or rapped . it is life wrecking and life changeing please dont run away from the memories if you are a victim get help!

I need some help. Almost 5 years ago, I married a man who has a son - he had been through a lot with a mother who neglected him and when we moved after seeing each other for a little over 6 months, his mother dropped him off with a bad and hasn’t seen him since. I have a son of my own, he has his son, and now we have a 2 year old together. His son is now 10 years old. Since I have been with him, we have been experiencing a great deal of behavioral, emotional, and social problems with him. We have tried everything from counseling to wrap-around services. He struggles in school and has a serious attitude problem. He lies constantly and has very strange mannerisms. He was diagnosed a couple of years ago with PDD - a mild form of Autism and ADHD. We have even tried medication. Over the past couple of years, there have been certain incidents that have concerned me, but it wasn’t until today that I realized just how serious this is and that my suspicions may be true. I have caught him “dry-humping” pillows, stuffed animals, etc. He once exposed himself to a group of boys at a sleep over we had. He was caught “dry-humping” one of the boys as the boy was sleeping. We have had talks with him, but it didn’t seem like anything to be seriously concerned about. However, I have been talking to a woman who has known a child who was sexually abused as a young child (toddler age) and have seen many similarities. My step-son has serious hygiene issues - doesn’t want to get showers, brush his teeth, etc. He often will not wipe himself after a bowel movement and we find marks on the walls that appear to be stool. The list goes on and on, but today was the turning point for me. I have had a gut feeling for while about this, so I would try avoid him being alone with my 2 year old. This evening, when I returned from shopping, my husband was working on his laptop and the kids were downstairs. The door to the fitness room was closed and I could hear whispering. When I slowly opened the door I saw my 2 year old laying on his belly with my step-son on top of him “humping” his rear end. When he saw me he quickly got up and grabbed himself in the crotch. When I told my 2 year old to yell for mommy if he ever does that to him again, my baby said “Jordon got in my diaper.” I am sick and terrified. I can’t take it anymore. What do I do?

Beth,
My son at the age of 17 reported being sexually molested between the ages of 6-12 several times, by a close family friend who was 40 at the time of crime. SO I believe it is Not too late to report it. This creep was arrested right away and upon a search they police found pictures of more little boys who were naked. So hopefully since my son was brave and told someone, he may of helped others. But the bad thing is he only got 12 months max sentence to be served in a county jail and he got to plea no contest. We are trying to appeal this somehow. For sure we are going to the sentencing trial so we can speak. It is hard since it was the state of michigan that was prosecuting this. If you need to talk to me just email me, I would be glad to help you thru this. I would for sure tell your daughter how proud you are that she has told you this, and how you are sticking by her and will be there for her AND THIS IS NOT HER FAULT!!! Nothing she did made this happen. Also get her in to see someone professionally to talk too. My Prayers and thoughts are with you and your family as you take this journey.

anybody who abuses a child is a very sick person and needs mental help children didnt asked to be brought into this world children no matter what age or color people who abuse children need god and jail time

Don’t trust anybody, why take a chance? once they abuse your child it is too late, my husband always says I’m over protective and cynical. Yes I am but at least I know I always tried to not set my kids up for abuse. Do not place your children in a situation to be abused. Don’t bring other kids into your home.
Have a trusting relationship with your children and do not be intimidated and naive yourselves, so your kids feel safe with you.

Its sadness for anyone that has to go threw abuse of any kind but sexuall abuse is sometimes most damaging. I am a survivor of sexuall abuse and unfortunatley my son is aswell. I wasnt sure if it was herediatry but i know now it is not. I actually walked in and caught the abuser to my son so not only do i live with my abuse i live with his aswell. Always believe in yourself and your children, find forgivness for your self Hate will eat your soul and we were just victims.

in the sixth grade i was forced to perform oral sex and to fondle my school security guard that was hired by the nyc police dept for most of that school year. I began to wet the bed, act out in school, became truant, and eventually started a life that included being sent to multiple group homes for defiant behavior and no one knew what to do with me. my life will never be the same. by the time I realized it wasn’t my fault…it was too late to do anything. DOMINICK YOU’VE GOTTEN AWAY BUT NOT FOR LONG……YOU HAVE TO FACE GOD ONEDAY!!!!

I see these as good guidelines but what happens if it is your own parents molesting / beating you? Who do you tell? What can you do to make it stop? Who would believe you?
Unfortunately the people who are suppose to love and protect you could be the ones hurting you.
My heart and soul go out to all that have survived with their pain. It is NOT your fault! They are the monsters not you.

Not too long ago after IKE my aunt told me that my older sister daughter which is 11 had told my sister in front of her that she was raped by her then boyfriend. My neice is only 11 and she acts like she is 16 or like a teenager and she also likes to hold on or should i say take control of her moms cellpohone. She also gets into attitudes and walks like she is a grown women. I have been wanting to ask my sister, but I cant seem to find the right words to ask her. I also think if i do ask her she will just lie about it.. She is no longer with the guy because the pervert also made my sister go thru a lot of stuff that my sister is now traumatized by. I do know that they are receving counseling and i see some improvement in my neice. Before my sister was with this guy she was another creep and my neice started acting out. I think this may have happened before. She also is talking to other boys on the phone and she says that she dont. i told my sister to take the phone away from her and for her to keep it by her side, but when i call my neice answers the phone and i know she answers the phone.
I have two small kids on my own and i always talk to them about right from wrong and if anyone ever touches them to let me know and not to be scared. Being a single parent and working fulltime leaves me no choice but to place them in afterschool programs or in summer camp or even with friends that i have to be extra careful because i cannot be there every minute. i get scared because there are mean, evil people in this world and we cannot trust everyone. My kids depend on me to protect them.
I would just like my sister to open her eyes and help my neice or probably they are receiving the help and she is not wanting to tell me. SHe is also pregnant from that guy and she no longer has any contact with him that i know of.

please help me..

my fiance and i have known each other for 8 years but been together for 6 months.were really in love with each other she told me she had been molested at a young age by her foster father. she told me in detail the things he did.She also explained why after 6 months she goes into funny moods with her partner whom ever she is with. im at my wits end i dont know what to do i tell her i love her every day some days shes fine and others i cant go near her.Is their anyone out there who can help.I dont want to lose her i love her so much.Please any advice.

TOI..PLEASE GET THAT MAN OUT OF YOUR HOUSE; TRUST YOUR INSTINCT BECAUSE A MOTHER’S INSTINCT IS ALWAYS RIGHT. DON’T FEEL GUILTY FOR THIS; ACT ON IT..YOU OWE YOUR CHILDREN A HAPPY, SAFE CHILDHOOD. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU ALL.

what happens if you were sexually abused as a child and you tell one of your parents and they choose not to believe you especially not believe you if it were by one of your family member?

I have been molested for a think I year from my step dad. When i was a little girl, but he stopped eversince I got my period, but he still did it one more time before he stopped and he insisted that I took a shower. I just couldnt believe it. I have had this nightmare all my life, and I was such a potty mouth, rebelled child, bad attitude, mean, jealous person. I had so much hatred and always gossiped about people. I was just a mean mean mean little girl. But I have grown closer with God and finally I am happy and content with my life and I feel beautiful, I have a boyfriend who is very understanding and treats me like royalty. We are very religious and I changed my life around, in fact I’m in a million clubs and sports, and I’m cheer captain of my school. My step dad is also a very aggressive person, he has anger problems, and has always domestically was violence in our home and hit me and my brothers. My mother insisted that he is getting help and taking pills but he still gets a little too angry sometimes. He’s not even a very opened person either. I never told my Mom about what happened to me, I’m so scared, and I dont want to hurt her. I finally had the courage to tell my aunts and uncles about what happened to me, but we still hadnt told my mom and we will soon I just I’m so scared of what the outcome will be. I have forgiven my step dad and I just want to seek some help out for him so I can save other childrens lives and the future of what to come and to protect MY OWN future children. I’m still very scared but now that I’m strong enough to actually want to deal with it and overcome it, I feel kind of confident that everything will be okay. I love God and very happy that he has helped me overcome this evilness. In the bible it says, “The truth will set you free.”

Thank you all for sharing your stories. I am happy that I am not a lone. But I am sad, because of all these unfortunate events that had occured. I will pray for you all. And when I get older, I’m going to have a organization I dont know how or when but I’m going to have one for children that needs help. God bless you all. With Love, Anonymous 18 year old.

Stuart:

To all that have shared your stories, I applaud you. Only through sharing our experiences can we grow stronger and maybe help someone else through a dark time. In response to your question regarding your fiance, there are many places she can go to get help. I am 47, and a sexual abuse survivor myself. I completely understand what you have explained about her moods, one day happy and everything seems to be ok, then suddenly she is unapproachable. Certain things, people, smells, and places, etc., are triggers, and may take her back to a particular encounter or moment with her abuser. I attended Adults Molested As Children (AMAC) individual/group counseling for years. You may want to see if there is someting similar in your area. There is also an excellent book titled (The Courage To Heal) A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. There is also a workbook that you may get to go along with the book. This has been such a blessing in my life. The authors are Ellen Bass and Laura Davis. The public libraries should also have this book available. Blessings to us all.

so sorry to read these horrible stories. these people “hunt” their victims. sorry

From the very first memories I have as a child I was I molested by my uncle until age 11. At age 11 I was in my aunts room and he went in there and closed the door behind him and started walking towards me with his hands out as thou he was going to grab my boobies… I told him to leave me alone or I would call out to my aunt and he laughed, I guess he didn’t think I would.. he kept walking towards me so I yelled out for my aunt which scared the crap out of him, ever since then he never tried anything again. I was also molested in my sleep by my father, stepfather, grandfather, brother and I had a cousin who tried but I yelled for my grandmother and it scared the crap out of him too.. I told my mother about the abuse when I was 16 years old she didn’t have much to say about it other than I should have told her about it when it happened. I never said a word beause I didn’t think she would believe me, and now that I’m 29 years of age I know for a fact she would not have believed me. What hurts the most is even after I told her that her brother molested me from age 3 to 11 she still would talk to him and invite him to come over, that is until one day when I was 20 he came over with his wife and new baby girl I igonored him and then told my mother that I couldn’t believe that she still invited him over after what he did. After that she never invited him over but she would still visit him. I don’t understand how a mother could dismiss her childs feelings or pain. Turned out he also molested my cousin when she was a child and she later reported it to a high school counselor and they had questioned me about it also. But nothing ever happend to him. But my cousin and I confided in eachother and she told me that her mother would also stil talk to him. At age 26-27 I really had a hard time with trying to comprehend my mother and aunts actions. I ended up abusing alcohol and pain killers as well as taking anti depressent medication. It really hurts to know your pain doesn’t matter. My advice is to never trust A NYONE around your child.. Man or Woman, If your child one day does not want to be around a person or go to a person’s house but doesn’t tell you why… there is a reason.. don’t dismiss it. If you child has nightmares, or acts out or shows signs of a sexual nature beyond what she should know, that could also be signs of sexual abuse. Pay attention to change in behavior. I had nightmaries every night until I was 12 years old which was around the time my mom divorced my step father and we moved away. (many years later he commited suicide, he shot himself) I just had my first baby 14 days ago.. And I love her to death… I will do my everything to make sure she is safe.. I can’t help it but think what if… what if… something happens what would I do.???.. And the only thing I can think of is if someone did hurt my child I wouldn’t kill them.. but I would shoot off their genitilia, I would do my best to make sure they suffer in some way.

My uncle sexually abused my cousin for years. He got her pregnant 3 times. Her mother finally found out and divorced him and he ended up in jail for a couple years. He’s dead now but my cousin has been a drug addict in and out of jail since she was a teenager (she’s 43 now). She’s gotten counseling over the years but hasn’t gotten any better. She went on to have 3 children, one died at 8 weeks (that one was suspicious) and the other two she lost custody and her mother adopted them.

I also have a question. My boyfriend, who is 43 and is a wonderful person and father has an 8th grade daughter who acts strangly. She undresses in front of her 11 year old brother and father. She always wants to sleep with her dad and she won’t sleep alone. She screams for hours and curls up by her dads door just hysterically crying if he doesn’t let her in. She throws her used maxi pads and the toilet paper she wipes with in the bathroom waste baskets so they can see she’s on her period. her brother sleeps in her room every night, he has been forced to do this for the past 3 years before that she slept with her mother. She is overly concerned with her private parts. Last night she asked her father to go to the store and buy the roughest toilet paper he can find because she doesn’t like the way the soft paper feels on her private parts. I find all of her behavior alarming. Oh, and she likes to hang on her father. She never talks to me when I go over there and even her father says that when I’m there her whole demeaner changes like a jealous woman. isn’t this too sexually driven for a girl her age? I have a 16 and almost 18 year old daughters and they never displayed this type of behavior. Does it sound like she’s been sexually abused? I know it’s not her father because he’s at his wits end with her behavior too. He has forced her into counseling once a week to figure out why she won’t sleep alone.

On the above comment, There is no doubt she has been/is being molested. No doubt.

I need advise from anyone out there. My grandaughter is being touched by her biological father. The mother (my daughter) works until 11 about four nights a week. My grandaughter is a single child. They “cuddle” together in the master bed until mom gets home. The child sleeps on a pallett at the foot of the parents bed when the mom gets home. My grandaughter, I’ll call her Christine, is crazy about her father (& mother too). He seems to be a good father, taking her to the park and spends time with her. I have always felt very uncomfortable about this alone time with him, he even gives her her baths. but being the grandmother I can’t stop how they do at their home. I can only tell them what I think & I have. (my daughter has never seen anything wrong and believes her husband would never do that.)
Now I KNOW he is touching her. (She is 7)
We keep her while they work so have her much of the time.
Three times lately she touched me in my privates. I reprimended her those times. The last time I finally asked “why are you doing this to me? No one touches you like that do they?” and she said “Uh huh, my daddy does.”
I tried to ask her questions the next day by playing a “what if” game. I finally got to “what if” someone tries to touch your privates, even like your daddy or your grandpa.
She said alot of times her daddy does “by accident”. he rubs her back every night and “accidently” touches me there. and he tickles me on my belly alot and “accidently” goes there. Then I asked, like you “accidently” touched me those three times? She said “yeah like that.” Then I asked “does that make you feel uncomfortable?” She said “un huh”.
I asked, “Do you say anything to him when that happens?” She said “I say ‘Not this time daddy’.” (My husband was near and he got real mad and said “NOT ANYTIME!” ) She immediately saw his alarm and then retreated saying “That’s what I meant, not anytime.” But I kept calm and kept swinging (we were on a bench swing).
I asked “What does he say when you say that?” She replied “He says ‘Ok baby’.” Now whenever we ask her any more q.’s she is backpeddling knowing something will get her daddy in trouble if found out.
I know he’s into pornography big time but I don’t know how to find out if child porn is on his pc or not.
I told the school counselor b/c I felt if I called CPS they would not be able to get Christine to confess. Since it would be just our word against his word now, if CPS couldn’t prove it, the son -in- law would stop Christine from seeing us saying we’re trying to “take their child from them”. The school counselor said they could only observe her to see if she showed any unwarrented behavior.
Does anyone know what I can do next.? I feel like anymore asking q.’s by us will only make it harder for a professional to get her to open up. Then again, how would I get a professional to even get the chance b/c I can’t think of a reason for her to go to a counselor without the parents knowledge. The father would tell her to be SURE and not tell, before she goes. She is very loyal to her daddy and crazy about him. If he told her, that he would have to be taken away, she would never tell on him.
If we told the mother, she’d bring up the question to him and the mess would hit the fan with them arguing over it. Then Christine would surely clam up seeing the emotion it caused.
We love our grandaughter very very much. We want her out of harms way. Any ideas out there?

my child has been molested by his father and the department of family services will not beleive him. he has showed signs of sexual behavior that are unusual for his age and i have reported it several times and no one will beleive him they say the father passed a polygraph so there is now way that the child has had anything done to him .the child has been taken from me for trying to get him help

From the time I was 13 untill I was taken away by the state my stepdad molested me and my sister. I was a very depressed teen and very moody. I am now 29 and am having anger issues due to the fact that my mother is still with the man who did this. My sister acts like its no big deal. But I am very angry. How can a mother choose the man who did this over her children.I dont do holidays anymore because I know he will be there. It seem like my whole family thinks he is this great guy. I feel like screaming “you all have a very twisted veiw on reality if you think he is so great” to everyone out there who has ever been hurt. I feel for you. To those out there doing these things “you will have to face your judgement before god in the end and may he have mercy on your soul.”

I have a daughter that is now a grown woman, she tells me that her biological dad molested her when she was a minor, she now has two sons and the youngest is named after her father..is this normal that a daughter would name her son after the man that had molested her ? if you could please tell me i would greatly appreciate this

In regards to concerned for grandaughter, if my 8 year old grandaughter told me that someone was touching her, and I have asked her that, there is no doubt in my mind that I would be judge,jury, and executioner!

The only way to get help is to tell. No one can help someone who does not want to tell. The only way to stop people from being molested is to tell someone what happened so that person can not do it again. You have a voice ” use it ” . I understand small children can not, but when you grow up TELL and if you are over 12 TELL. You can not stop what we do not know!!!!