Robin W: I just found out that there is gang activity in the elementary school that my two youngest children attend. I think my son has been a target, but he’s afraid to open up and talk to me. He used to be able to talk to me about anything but now he’s withdrawn. He has never had problems at school before and now all of a sudden he’s acting out and stealing, and I don’t know what to do about it. My son is normally a very happy, friendly; laid back kid…What can I do to help him?
JW: Robin, bullying can a serious problem for kids, and bullies frequently target the kids who are good students. I recently came across a sobering statistic from the Family Work Institute: nearly a third of school kids become victims of bullies. So, clearly, your problem is one that a lot of parents are battling. I know that the National Crime Prevention Council has done a lot of work to help parents like you deal with this growing concern. The NCPC operates McGruff.org, a website with interactive games geared to kids in a language they understand. Here are some of the NCPC’s tips for parents:
- Praise your child for reporting bullying situations to you and assure your child you will take action.
- Ask your child specific questions about how your he or she is treated by peers, who he or she eats lunch with, and how other children are treated.
- Talk to your child’s teacher, counselor, or other caregiver about reports of bullying. Work together to address the bullying situation. Don’t confront the parents of the bully directly.
- Teach your child to be assertive. Your child should be able to express feelings and needs clearly, without shouting or other aggressive behavior.
- Provide opportunities for your child to make friends. Identify some of your child’s interests and encourage your child to pursue them through sports, clubs, or other group activities.
- Teach your child to identify bullying behaviors. These include hitting, damaging possessions, threatening, name-calling, excluding someone from the group, spreading rumors, and embarrassing others.
- Teach your child strategies for managing bullying. If bullied, your child can walk away, tell the bully to stop, avoid the bully, or tell an adult.
6 Comments on "How Can My Child Stay Safe From Bullies?"
Molly
Bullying occurs on many occasions…it’s nothing new, it’s just that it’s brought to our attention more.
I was bullied in elementary school back in the late 50’s and early 60’s.
No one did anything about it, and I’m just lucky that when I entered highschool, the bullying stopped.
paula tidwell
when you have a promblem with a bully go to a adult and explain what the promblem is and ask them to pay attention to that person that causing the promblem and let your parent know what you have done . and tell the teacher and i explain this to my parents also maybe your parents can find out what the promblem is if this can’t fix anything have your parent to get legal help no parent want to talk to a judge maybe they will fix it before it get to this .have witness that this person is bulling you. good luck
Mrs. Wade
It’s okay to tell ur kids to avoid the bully, tell a teacher, tell them to stop. That’s only if the bully is name calling. But if the bully is hitting ur child, ur child has a right to defend him/herself.
J
It’s a delicate and confusing balance between teaching your kids to be assertive yet avoid getting into fights!
Either way, the school has to have good proactive policies in place to manage children’s interactions within the schools and be able to prevent these things from getting progressively worst. Without complete involvement of parents and teachers, they are almost sure to fail.
In those districts where parent involvement is more difficult, the school system should have social workers who are mobile enough to manage these school policies and intercept them when they do arise.
J. Lopez / Bronx, NY
Mr. Pepe
Have your kid pre-emptively hit the bullies.
Angela
Give your child confidence to stand up for himself/herself. If there is name calling or negative words used, they should tell an authority if it gets out of hand. If the child is hurting another, defense is exceptable.
Also, remind your child not to be a bully himself. Make sure they aren’t the one antagonizing the situation.
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