Date Smart: Finding the Flaws in Online Dating

i would just like to let you know i fell in to that trap 6 yrs ago. i met a man on the internet, then he came from australia to kentucky where i live, and a week later we got married, we talked on internet for a year, before he came here, about a month after we married, i found he was a foney, he used me to run my credit cards up to max for a custom made furniture buisness that fell through, and in the mean while, he never paid a bill, he made me put his name on my property, and on my car he borrowed money, and never paid a dime. he got very abuesive, he really put me through a ringer, i started having headaches and went to a dr and the dr ask me who hit me upside my head, i had found out i had a anurizum, i had brain surgery, then after that , it wasnt good enough for him because i didnt die, he started poisoning me, little by little he was putting something in my food, i lost 100 lbs in a month was hospitalized, then got a bit better, got out then he caused me to have 3 strokes, i finally got smart, took me long enough, i told my home health nurce about his abuse, and when she came to my home, for a home visit, i went out to meet her, i was afraid to let her come in, he was on one of his bad abuse spells, she ask me what was wrong, i told her hes doing it again, then he came out and said are u coming in, i said no we are talking out here, my nurse called 911 for sheriff department, he got suspitous, , got in his truck drove a block to a friends house, when police arrived i told him where he was, and i had a restraining order by that time to keep him away, well still today he is back in australia, he never paid his bills and im stuck with them, and im disabled, nothing was ever done with this person, he still tells me to watch my back because he was gona see i was dead, im still so scared, i dont k now what to do, i now live with my sister, because i lost everything even my car, there are warrants on this man if he ever comes back to the usa, but he wont, but he does have contacts, its sad that everytime i go out side i have to watch my back, im very sick now, my nerves are shot, but still fear for my life, the us wont go get this man, because hes a citi, of au and only perminent resident in the usa, i cant pay the bills he left behind, i have no car to go to dr, i have to pay someone to take me to the doctors, its just not right so people please take it from me watch on line dateing, he sure had me fooled, i thought he was a very honest person, now you see today where i am, and im just 55 yrs old, and aftaid to see other men, wont date, i dont even go out of my house unless with my sister, because im still scared, thankyou, i just thought this might be of some help to you to help others, ive spent my intire life helping others, it was my calling, i helped the needy, i fed the poor, i took care of the crippled where i use to live, cooked for them, when i had the food, i use to be a volintere emt, years ago, i miss helping others now, all i do is sit home , God b less and keep you all. , patricia

i love your show amw. i never miss it, i might even see his face on there one day, because he told me a story about a man wanted in au for killing little girls, and he new the man that did it, i think now after looking back it might have been him

Hi, Patricia,

I am SO sorry to hear of all your troubles. I hope that you are able to recover from this abusive relationship. You’ve surely convinced me not to get involved with anyone online! God bless you. I hope that having your sister there will make this all easier for you.

Take care, God bless

Hi Patricia,

I am so sorry that this happened to you. I too had this done too me so I know how you feel. I too am disable and wheel chair bound. because of this I am an activist of domestic violance. It wil take time and with a lot of support and couseling you will be feeling better. I will keep you in my prayers
take time to heal but you will feel better. You are not alone.

God Bless You

Thank you for all your efforts.

I support AMW and everything connected with it and have been a faithful viewer for 20 years.

I THINK IT SHOULD BE A WAY PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE TO REGISTER WITH A PROGRAM OR SITE THAT IS SAFE, AND BE WILLING TO GIVE THIER INFORMATION, SO OTHER CAN VERIFY THEY BACK GROUND AND REPORT. TO A DETECTIVE OR SOMETHING. BECAUSE IF THEY ARE INNOCENT AND NOT VOILENT. THEY SHOULDN’T MINE GOING THROUGH THE PROCESS, TO GET A DATE.

I have met many wonderful men online who have become great friends of mine…I learned early on to weed out the bad seeds. I had even fallen in love with an awesome man and was dating him for 3 years before we eventually ended our relationship. There ARE genuine people out there looking for honest relationships. Please don’t write them all off because of one bad experience.

Dear AMW,
I dont feel as though all onlineddating services are bad but I have had my own experiences with one that was.. I had been talking to this guy that lived in Florida and he came to Tennessee to visit me over the summer. Everything had been going great, but when I least expected it, he sexually molested me. He shoved against a wall, knocking me out. And when I woke up I had been tied to my bedposts, my clothes were taken off of me and the door was wide open…Not only had he beaten me but he raped me as well…..it took several hours before anyone showed up to untie me…However when i was untied i went to the police. They told me that they’d do all they could … A month or so later… i continuosly got sick and i couldnt eat without vomiting, so i went to the doctor. I didn’t want to beleive the news he told me, but thats the only logical explanation…he had gotten me pregant!!! I had to make the decision on whether i would keep the baby or not …..but it was hard to do…. About 3 months later, I desided to keep it….I know i didnt plan to have a child but i couldnt be a mother that has an abortion or gives it up for adoption…. the baby never did anything to me….Now, today, my daughter ,Annalee Elizabeth, 4 years old ,is the one thing i wouldnt dream of letting go…. It may have been a mistake that it happened the way it did, but my child will NEVER be the msitake.

It was awful how that idiot raped you. Never let anyone into your home, especially someone you met on the internet, unless you have met his family, friends, etc.,. first. He could have very easily killed you, and/or ruined your credit, like Patricia’s. He could also have given you a permanent death sentence: AIDS…..

Be glad that all he gave you was a daughter…..

I love watching amw on saturday night

I feel terrible for the woman in the domestic voilence situation and lost everything. However wonder why she married a guy after a week of meeting him. It’s unfortunite that these types of people can pry on the ones that they know will fall for it. Online dating can be a scary thing. However, you just need to meet in public place and trust your initution. Don’t give out your home telephone number, address and employment. Also if you have intent on finding a partner online don’t spend time creating false intimacy on the phone and meet in person after a few weeks or months. DATE SMART!! ON AND OFFLINE!!

Also I have one more comment to make about online dating. It’s sometimes good to ask question where you really get a feel for their character. I was having a very nonchalent phone conversation with these man offline after we exchanged a few emails. We were just talking back and forth when I asked him “Did you ever watch that show How to catch a Preditor?” (because I love shows that catch criminals or help people, very interesting) And he said “Yes!” — Then began telling me how he doesn’t think it’s wrong for men in their late 20’s or early 30’s to be having relations sexually with 16 year olds, almost an attitude “come on give me a break” — long story short I didn’t meet him. However, sometimes you thank goodness that you asked these questions before it’s too late.

I have been dating a guy online he is from uk. I will meet him in May. He will come to the states. Concerned it is expensive to verify basic info. Thanks for your stories. I will beware.

It is truly amazing to me how many people are abused by others. I have been a victim of a sexual attack but fortunate enough not to be raped. I fell victim to an online dating scam, but only lost my heart in the process but not my head. My three tips: 1. Don’t give up on love, just use your head more than your heart 2. Keep the remote key to your car by your bed. Use the panic alarm on the remote to set off the horns and lights on your car. Inform your neighbors to call the police if the alarm goes off. 3. Thank God for all his blessings and for keeping you safe.

Online dating can be scary! Thanks for this.

I am very concerned for my sister. She met a man online who lives in Wisconsin. We live in NC. She talked with him online for 6 months and then went to his house and spent 9 days with him. When she came back she said they decided she will move in with him. She has two boys 13 and 5. She has recently divorced and is very vunerable. She has told this guy everything about her situation. He even came to meet the family. He seems really quiet and withdrawn which scares me. My worry is that he is dating her to get to her children. I can’t say for sure that this is true but I am very concered about it. Our whole family is against her moving so far away with someone she hardly knows. She is very protective over him, so much to the point that she thinks we all are against her happiness.
What are some signs we should look for in this guy? If he turns out to be a wierdo how can we convince her to get away from him?